It’s been 476 days, 16 hours and 57 minutes since my last blog post.
That’s right, I’ve been a no-good-dirty-low-down-unfaithful-blogger-type-blogger. I've had two birthdays, was crowned Elite Mrs. Colorado in a beauty pageant, and went on to win an international title. I know, right?
My sincere apologies for not sharing this with you all before.
I have about a hundred reasons why I dropped the blogging ball, and even more excuses. As you read on, I’m hoping that you’ll forgive me. Pretty please with a big, fat cherry on top?
You see, I’ve also been beyond busy building a charity to help other Lyme warriors such as myself. Now that things are pretty much up and running, I’ve found, that I am not.
That’s right, I’m sick. Again. And it’s bad.
My Lyme doctor has me on a pretty strict protocol though, and the intent is to lower the bacteria level in my body once again, and of course, for me to live until my one hundredth birthday. And you’re all invited to my party. It’s going to be a sensation, the event of the century, really!
There’ll be a fabulous New York steak dinner, loaded baked potatoes, various salads and appetizers and Crème Brulee for dessert. Oh, and the best champagne money can buy! Hey, it’s not every day you turn 100.
And there'll be dancing. Even if I’m in a wheelchair, I have every intention to whirl around the dance floor with my husband like Fred Estaire and Ginger Rodgers all while wowing the crowd in an outfit that’ll have you ooh-ing and ahh-ing.
As for today-I’ve decided to forge ahead, even though, if I’m being honest I’ve wanted to do anything but that for the past two weeks or so. I actually considered giving up, but, when I considered how that might turn out, I opted to conquer. To live. (Whew!)
For the most part, conquering anything requires a fight of sorts, at the very least, determination must be present. Whether your fight is with an illness, addiction, a habit, anger, unforgiveness, sorrow, depression, something from your past, or one of a million other possibilities. It's going to take action to get unstuck.
Action to get free.
Action to move ahead.
Action to conquer.
I have been tempted to give up. I won’t.
You're going to want to give up at one time or another. Don't.
Just keep going. And it doesn't have to be a big theatrical, dramatic deal. Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other is all the fight you need.
I have to believe that I’m still alive for many reasons and for purposes that I’m not even aware of yet.
Psalm 31:15 says that our times are in His hands.
Matthew 10:29 reads, “Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Heavenly Father noticing. But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So, don’t be afraid because you are of more value than many sparrows.”
That gives me hope, knowing that every single hair on my head is numbered by God. He loves me so much that He knows that detail about me. Psalm 91 says that he that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
We are God’s children, and we abide under the shadow. He pays attention to us, and none of the details of our lives are hidden from Him. If He takes the time to know how many hairs are on our heads, then surely, He knows the day that He will take us home to be with Him. I’m assured that just as God was aware of the day that I would be born, He is also aware of the date I will die. It won’t take Him by surprise, rather, He will be the one who orchestrates it.
There have been so many times in this battle with Lyme that I should have died, but didn’t. I have to attribute this to God’s protection over my life.
My dad told me the story of something that happened to him after he was honorably discharged from the U.S. Navy. He was in his early forties, and he was working as an air-conditioning repair man. The unit he was working on was in a building that was several stories high. He had a very tall ladder leaning against this building and was climbing it to get to the unit that needed repair. There was no one at the bottom of the ladder holding it steady. As he was climbing, it began to wobble and fall over.
He told me that in the very instant that it was falling, thoughts raced through his mind very, very quickly. He said he thought about tomorrow, if he was even going to have a tomorrow, and if his wife and children would have to carry on without him. Then, suddenly, the ladder stopped falling and just froze in midair for a few seconds as he clung to it. Then it moved back towards the building. My dad said that after that, he never doubted that God is the One who is in control of our destiny.
I believe this is true, and that’s why I’m not giving up. So, if I don’t meet you before then, I’ll see you at my one hundredth birthday party. Please be prompt.