To conquer life’s tough moments, you’ll require large doses of laughter. So, here are some funny bits of our life, to bring laughter to yours.
Me: I want to buy Patriot and Wrigley, oh and Wrigley's foal due in June, too.
Chuck: I hope you have a big suitcase of cash laying around someplace then. We can't do that right now.
Me: But it's my right to buy more horses!
Chuck: *Laughing* Your right? How do you figure?
Me: Baby, I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--
Chuck: *Laughing* So you think it's your Constitutional right to buy more horses?
Chuck: Well, I hope there's something in there about your right to find some money for those horses, too.
Me: Well, in Article IV Section 1 it says that Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public. I'm the Public so please give me a Credit Card to buy my horses.
Chuck: Good Lord, woman you should've been an Attorney. But we're not getting more horses now because it would infringe upon my Constitutional right to pursue happiness by paying my bills. Court adjourned, Counselor. But nice try!
Very early this morning, (Seriously. We’re talking the butt-crack of dawn here.) Chuck locks himself out of the house in the garage. I'm utterly passed out after a night without any sleep at all. He called my cell, but I had it turned off.
So, how does he get my attention to let him back into the house? You guessed it, he honks the horn of my truck.
Over, and over, and oooooooooooooooooooover.
I woke up, startled. At first I thought, I wish our neighbor would stop honking his horn. The ungodly blast continues until I go downstairs and realize it's coming from our own garage. Perplexed, I opened the door to the bellowing thunder of the horn that was so loud I swear people in China heard it. I’m surprised that our windows didn’t implode and our roof didn’t cave in. It’s quite likely that my hair will never be the same. I’m pretty sure it’s permanently blown straight back by the earsplitting clamor emanating from the garage.
He's sleeping out there tonight.
Me: I think we should buy a weighted blanket.
Chuck: Since you're so cold all the time, the blankets you have on our bed already weigh 50 pounds so I think we're good.
Me: Nuh uh.
Chuck: I need a crow bar just to get out of bed.
Me: Nuh uh.
Chuck: You can't think of anything else to say, can you?
Me: Yes I can.
Chuck: Well? I’m waiting.
Me: Nuh uh.
Chuck: Told you so.
Me: Nuhhhhhuhhhh uhhhhhhhhh.
Chuck: Dang, you're pretty. I'm gonna kiss you now.
Chuck: Wait. I just ate garlicky food. Let me rephrase.
Chuck: Dang, you're pretty. I'm going to brush my teeth and then kiss you!
Chuck: You're so agreeable, too! Win.
Me: I may have served way too much Butter Chicken on your plate, sorry.
Chuck: You really ought to be more careful. Let’s EAT.
Me: The recipe only called for two tablespoons of butter, though, so I guess it’s not that bad.
Chuck: How can they, in good conscience, call it Butter Chicken, then? What were they thinking with only two tablespoons. Pfffft.
Me: Welp, I dunno but that’s just what the recipe called for.
Chuck: Look, let me apologize in advance.
Chuck: Because I feel dizzy.
Me: Oh NO! Are you okay? How can I help?
Chuck: Don’t you dare help me, Darlin’!
Me: Huh? Why not? Wha…?
Chuck: I feel like I may trip and fall…
Me: Well, then, quit being stubborn and let me help you!
Chuck: …into the pot with a cube of butter!
Me: Why, I oughta!
Chuck: Put more butter in the sauce?
Me: Chuck when I get well can we get a Harley?
Chuck: When you reach remission, you can have any Harley you want.
Chuck: Sure, Hotwheels are on sale at Walmart all the time.
Laughter does good like a medicine. - Proverbs 17:22